Take your cones and shove it, lady!

14Dec07

After receiving my GED, my life did not change as dramatically as I expected. I truly believed I would have the confidence to face life’s challenges, but I was wrong. In reality, my enhanced confidence only lasted until the “congratulations” stopped coming; then, life returned to “normal.” At this time in life, I was leaving the house more than I had previously, and my anxiety had subsided some, but it was still present and persistent.

I had the expectation that receiving a GED after studying for a mere four months and after dropping out of school in the sixth grade would garner the respect of those around me—at least the same amount of respect I would have had I actually gone to middle and high school. I thought everyone else would see how remarkable my accomplishment was, but I was wrong. Or perhaps it was not as much of an accomplishment I believed it was.

While preparing for the GED examination, I received my driver’s permit. I practiced often, but, because my fear of the police and my fear of killing someone persisted, I forced myself to learn how to drive on dangerous country roads. On these country roads, there are few other drivers and rarely do you ever see law enforcement.

Several months after receiving my GED, and now 19 years old, I finally had the confidence and perceived preparedness to take the test!

In Ohio, you are required to do a maneuverability test. This test requires you to maneuver your vehicle through a group of cones. You are required to do this in both forward and reverse. The entire purpose of this test is to replicate parallel parking (without sacrificing other vehicles), and it is considered the most difficult portion of the exam by most test-takers.

Because I was over 18 when I received my permit, I was not required to go through a driver’s education program. In driver’s education programs, they prepare you for the maneuverability portion of the exam rather extensively.

Some may consider it a downfall, but I feel it is necessary to “over-prepare” for everything—especially tests. And this was a test. However, it is nearly impossible to practice “the cones” unless you are in a driver’s education program, so I asked one of my brothers to grab several cones and we’d try to set up something at least similar to what would be required on the exam. This actually ended up being a disaster, because I made the mistake of informing my brother that Ohio State Highway Patrolman are required to do this at high speeds. He simply had to try it, so we spent a majority of our time trying to repair broken cones that he’d run over in his effort to be amazing.

The day prior to taking my driver’s license examination, I started to learn the techniques needed to pass the maneuverability exam. In reality, the only “technique” I devised was to go as slow as the car possibly could—and usually slower. The “idling speed” was simply not slow enough, so I’d ride the brake. In fact, if my speed actually measured on the speedometer, that was entirely too fast.

I arrived to take the test the next day. My nervousness was evident to everyone, as I had several people ask me why I was so nervous. I was irritable and angry, and I could have snapped at anything.

I was not a licensed driver, so I needed my brother to be in the vehicle with me when it was my time to take the test, because I was required to move the vehicle up to the cones. After arriving, he exited the vehicle and the examiner entered after doing a series of safety checks on the vehicle I was in (you never know when you’ll need your horn). I told her, up front, that I was incredibly nervous and she told me not to be. She was actually apathetic.

The first thing she had me do was the maneuverability test. I could see my brother watching, but I ignored him and continued my trek through the cones even slower than snail’s pace. I was bound and determined, but my confidence was dwindling, as I’d seen the previous examinee hit four cones.

I was on a mission and I succeeded: I passed. But I was not done yet. Still required was the actual driving portion of the exam, in which I would be asked to drive on one of our community’s busiest and most congested streets.

I performed incredibly well until I nearly hit a pedestrian (it was his fault). My good fortune allowed me to miss the moron. If I had hit him, I would have surely received a “failing” grade on the exam!

In the end, I received a 100% on the test. I was incredibly proud and instantly felt more independent and less like a prisoner.

Later that day, I stole my mother’s car for my first independent drive. I was nervous, and, because of my nervousness, my foot was shaking so much that it was impossible to apply consistent pressure to the accelerator, so the vehicle would speed up and then slow down at a rapid pace. I nearly developed motion sickness. Plus, I got lost in an area I’d been a thousand times before—and there’s really only one road.

I got my first job the very weekend after receiving my driver’s license. It was this job that allowed me to turn over a near leaf. But that’s a story for another day.

Filed under: Humor, Introduction, Personal, Social Anxiety   |  6 Comments
Tags: anxiety, drivers license, driving, education, exam, GED, license, manueverability, Ohio, Social Anxiety, test