Nothing puts you on edge like hearing things in your wall.
At random intervals, I hear these noises. They come from one of two walls and the noises are never simultaneous.
You know that sound when a person with long hair flicks their hair back and its hits a wall? In one wall, it sounds something like that. Now, in the other wall, it sounds like someone, or something, is having a seizure and convulsing. It is loud.
And it is unnerving, especially when you are trying to fall asleep and something has a seizure right above your head.
I don’t think there are ghosts. And, because no one ever lived in this house before us, I’m rather certain that the previous family did not hide a baby in the wall.
I’ve wondered if there are actually two creatures in the wall and they are using these sounds a way of communicating. And it sounds sexual.
It is possible that I have schizophrenia and these sounds do not really exist at all. Or it is possible that the electrical outlets are preparing to start me on fire. Either way, it is starting to really get on my nerves.
Truth is, I don’t know if I should call an exterminator, a psychiatrist, or an electrician.
Any advice?
Filed under: Humor | Tagged: electrician, insane, mice, mouse, psychiatrist, psychologist, schizophrenia, wall
mice. big ones. they’re probably reproducing, too.
Haha.
At least you were blunt.
Should I just move now, or should I wait until they eat my face?
I think that it may be helpful to learn to accept things as they are. Without judgment. This Kafkaesque scenario is an opportunity for you to practice the art of surrender. Do not judge. Let the sounds be as they are without labeling them as this or that. A lot of anxiety comes from our inability to keep the mind still and focused on the breath. This brings us into the moment which is a vast space filled with possibility. By not judging or labeling we have the opportunity to fill this space of possibility with pleasure of pure experience. When we can be in this state of pure experience this is the beginning of Enlightenment. True, this is all very Zen…but it is also common sense and a cure for anxiety.
I like your sensibility though. Your writing style reminds me of certain French Surrealists and of course Kafka. Remember the only thing that is in the wall is the experience that we have by judging or labeling the sounds we hear.
I was aligning myself more with Descartes. Perhaps the sounds do not exist, my anxiety does not exist, and perhaps I don’t even exist; it is merely a dream. Differentiating between reality and dreams is, in his opinion, apparently impossible.
Perhaps the real solution to my anxiety is to wake up. At the same time, however, I’m always so tired, so drained, so perhaps the solution is actually go to sleep.
Thanks for your thought-provoking and intellectually vicious post, Randall. And your compliments, if they are really compliments at all.
Or you can just move. It takes fewer words.
And the mice will hate you for taking their snacks.
Have you considered an exorcist?
Yeah, moving would be a good idea, especially since my face may very well be their next snack.
Lillith: Not so much. My fear of arranging an exorcism is that the exorcist will charge per demon that they eliminate. If that is the case, then I am going to be so broke.
Plus, I am really scared about irreparable damage when they punch me in the face to knock me down in order to signify an end to the demons that possess me. Do you think that is irrational?
Nah, I don’t think that’s irrational at all.
I just worry about how many demons you must THINK you have . . . especially if you believe one exorcism will send you into bankruptcy.
[...] tomorrow, because that was exciting, albeit rather embarrassing. And, tomorrow, I may ask them to investigate the noises in my wall. That’s their job, right? Filed under: Humor [...]